Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I LOVE Halloween! What a wonderful holiday. Maybe it's because it's during a wonderful time -- Fall. Maybe it's the candy. Maybe it's the costumes. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have to perpetuate a lie to my child about a magical being that breaks into my house and bestows gifts. There's magic at Halloween and it's for all ages.

My mom always made our costumes. I guess you had to back then. Now there's incredible and affordable costumes for purchase practically everywhere. I decided, though, that I was going to make costumes for Monster. He's in love with our next door neighbor's dog -- a Golden Retriever named Cooper, or, as Monster says, Poop Poop. I bought a ton of fleece and went to work.

Basically I made fleece pajamas and added a tail to the pants. Then I made a hood and added some ears. Monster won't wear the hood and prefers his new fedora so this is what we ended up with.

Oh, and that's Yellow Tool Box he's holding in his hand. It's his latest obsession. He doesn't carry anything in it and don't you dare call it a brief case.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

It's Almost Like Having a Daughter

Monster does NOT like getting ready in the mornings. I've spent a lot of time chasing him around the house with diapers, clothes, breakfast, shoes, his coat, just trying to get him presentable (which, seriously, doesn't measure up to what most people would find acceptable). He also takes issue with me getting ready in the morning. Not too long ago I jokingly asked if he wanted to help me pick out my clothes. He was all about it. Of course, he thinks I should wear things from the dirty clothes pile but we're working on that.

He really seems to enjoy this new routine. He likes to feel the fabric of the clothes before he makes his decision and then he gets very excited when I coordinate his outfit to mine. Yesterday we both wore gray pants and today we both wore brown. So, I'm getting some much needed fashion help AND I found a way to get that kid excited about getting dressed. I rule at this mom shit!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Dating? Yeah, I don't think so

Recetly I've been feeling like I might be ready to start dating. I have this mega crush on a very good friend of mine and was thinking to myself, this could work! We've tried the dating thing before and we do ok for a while until he realizes that I'm an empty shell with nothing left to give anyone. So, I've been kind of bummed thinking about how he probably doesn't like me like that and blah blah high school stuff blah.

Then this morning happened and as I was running around like an idiot trying to get Monster out from underneath his crib so I could get him dressed and out the door so that maybe I could get to work on time (note: that didn't happen), I realized, logistically there is no way for me to have a relationship. And strangely, that made me feel better.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sort Of a Good Experience Sandwich

It's fall which means it's time for flu shots! I can't think of a better way to spend my time than holding my precious child down on an examination table while a stranger stabs him in the leg and injects him with pharmaceutical soup.

That being said, it's necessary because I'd rather have two seconds of terror for him than a week of vomiting, chills, and wretchedness for both of us. I'm a big picture kind of gal.

To make it more bearable for Monster, I took him to his favorite playground right after I picked him up from the babysitter's. I let him run around and go down slides and swing and kick a ball around and lie down on the ground face down. He even left without a fight. Why? Because I told him we had one quick stop to make and then we would go out for ice cream! You know, sort of a good experience sandwich.

And, btw, it totally worked. He had ice cream for dinner and a hot dog and peaches for dessert. I'm certain those are the parts he'll remember. At least I hope so.

The title of this post and the phrase "sort of a good experience sandwich" came from a Facebook thread started by my dear friend and fellow blogger, Megan. She posted how she got her daughter a flu shot and immediately treated her to fruit snacks and her favorite DVD. Not to be outmommed, I planned before AND after activities. So there Megan! You can read more about Megan's adventures here at Motherhood of the Toddling Pants. And I recommend that you do because she's actually a good writer. I've been jealous of her skills since we met working at that small town and now defunct newspaper.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Why I Let My 2-Year-Old Pick Out My Outfit

I guess this is kind of a deceptive title because I have no clear answer to this. I mean, other than it was 7:45 on a Monday morning and my dear sweet child walked away from the Disney Channel in order to climb the stairs to spend time with me and the joy I felt because of that overwhelmed me to the point that I actually thought it was a good idea to wear my Wonder Woman t-shirt to my corporate office job.

So here I am, in a pink Wonder Woman t-shirt and a black cardigan with some sparkly  beaded embellishment on it, and gray pants. Granted I'm wearing red patten leather heels (oh gawd, it's sounding worse and worse) so that really dresses it up. And I wonder why my co-workers are avoiding my gaze. And also why I'm still single.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Summer of Self Improvement Fail

I just realized that I never did follow up on my quest for self improvement. That could mean that I'm already at the top of my game but I think we all know that's not true. You know, while I was reading The Happiness Project, I was really into it and was doing some of the things she suggested and I was happier. I don't know what happened. I just stopped. And I feel not as happy.

Is it the time of year and the fact that it's been raining here about 90 % of the time since July? Is it that I'm freaking busy? I can't be any busier than anyone else. Probably less busy than a lot of people actually. Do I lack stamina and the ability to commit? What is it people???

And does anyone want to do a group happiness project? I sent away for the materials a while back. She offers a whole package for doing a group project.

Has anyone else read the book or gone on her blog?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Who’s the F&#@- up Now?

Hint: It’s not me

Remember that time when I met my new neighbors? And then the time after that when Monster locked me out front but then let me in after a minute? Oh, those were good times. The Ex was so smug and superior. I can imagine his mother rolling her eyes when he told the story of my epic parenting fail at a family gathering. But whatevs, I don’t care. I don’t need them or their stupid approval.

But here’s where things get pretty sweet. Last week the Ex took off work so he could take Monster to Sesame Place. He came and picked him up and I left for work. Luckily I stopped for gas down the street and luckily I was reaching for my phone to check my bank balance because at that exact moment I received a frantic phone call from the Ex saying that Monster had locked himself in the van and could I help him “call someone?”

I could hear the panic in his voice. Luckily for everyone, I have AAA (thanks Mom!). I called them, told them my 2-year-old was locked in my van and could they send someone immediately. Also luckily, AAA is less than a mile from my house. So we waited. Monster was already strapped in his seat so he was sitting there playing with a small toy. The Ex was so anxiety-ridden and kept asking questions like: is he going to run out of air in there?; and are you sure you called? I passed the time by playing a peek-a-boo game. I’d duck down below the window and pop up and say, “Surprise!”

It took about 20 minutes for the AAA tech to get there and only a minute for him to unlock the door. As soon as Monster was free, I hugged him for about 10 minutes. I also wanted to hug the AAA guy but thought he might find that inappropriate.

All was well and I don’t even think Monster knew what was happening. It was just really nice to not be the f&#@-up for once.

I also recommend AAA to everyone! I, myself, am a platinum member.

Monday, October 10, 2011

A Toast to Mom Friends!

All of a sudden, Monster seems to have grown up. Not just in size, but in spirit. He’s becoming more social, remembering his little friends and looking forward to seeing them. Ever since the great floods of ’11, we’ve been having weekly play dates with my friend who is also my step second cousin (wrap your brain around that one) and her son. My friend’s house flooded and her family moved in with her mom (who lives right near me) until the house is livable once again. Her son is a little older than Monster but is such a nice playmate for him. And not that little kids need a ton in common with their friends but they both enjoy cars, trucks, running around, and TV.

Sure it’s great to see a budding friendship but what’s better is the friendship I have with Playmate’s mommy! We like to let our kids play, drink, listen to music, and eat dinner. It’s so nice to have a mommy friend. I can’t believe I’ve survived this long without this kind of relationship. I have a ton of friends who are moms but to have a regular weekly ‘date’ with a mom who has a child near Monster’s age has changed my life.

I’m not exactly isolated but I’m no social butterfly either so as soon as Monster and I get home, it’s been just he and I chilling at the house. Which means I usually turn the TV on around 6 and it stays on until bedtime which I feel kind of guilty about. But now, friends come over, the kids play, the music is on and we’re talking over a glass of wine about all kinds of things. It’s a nice change of pace. Monster is happily exhausted by the end of the evening and I’m not dying of loneliness after he goes to bed.

Yay to mom friends! Yay to play dates! Yay to not feeling like a pathetic loser everyday!