Wednesday, August 31, 2011

This Post Isn't Funny

When I came into work this morning, I was greeted by an email from the future president of the company stating that the son of one our co-workers was in the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with him. He was found listless and then had several severe seizures.

I’ve talked to this co-worker about his kids. He and his wife adopted two children from China. Their son has had developmental issues his entire life. I think they knew he had them and still adopted him and had made great strides with him through therapy and love and time. Even with his history, no one expected this and I can only imagine what the family has been going through waiting for test results that will hopefully provide answers. Throughout the day news trickled in, news that some ailments had been ruled out as causes. It’s not meningitis; it’s not a brain tumor – all good news.

Stories like this terrify me. One second our kids seem indestructible – just needing a kiss on their boo-boo and then they’re back running full tilt. It seems implausible that inside them, where we can’t see, something could be really wrong. I don’t know how I would handle Monster being seriously sick as it breaks my heart to see him with the sniffles.

I am thankful that my co-worker’s son has the parents he has – ones who went half way around the world to make him their son. They’ve already proven they would go to the ends of the earth for him.

Thoughts and prayers are with them and with all our kids. Hug ‘em tight y’all.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

From Toddler to Teenager in No time Flat -- awesome

Lately I've had to wake Monster up in the mornings and this has been around 7:30 - 7:45. His first words? "Noooooo, I'm sleeping!" And that is how my precious baby went from toddler to teenager in no time flat. The end.

Friday, August 26, 2011


All summer I had been talking about taking a day trip with the kidlet down to the beach but it never seemed to be a good time. I am lucky to have a very generous friend who rented a beach house and said I could bring Monster to stay at the end of the week. I jumped on the opportunity. One, because she's a very good friend who was celebrating her 30th birthday and I wanted to see her. Two, because not having to drive 8 hours in one day in order to enjoy the beach was a welcome gift.

Because I am a dumbass, we had to run to the store to get diapers, wipes and sunscreen before we hit the beach. That taken care of, we were ready to go. Well, mostly Monster was. I found myself out of breath and seized by panic for most of the time. The. Child. Is. Fearless. He ran toward the water. He was undeterred by the loud crashing of the waves or the cold water. If a wave knocked him down, he would pause but then he was right back in there screeching with joy and laughing his head off.

I have to say, I love his fearlessness. Yes, it means I have to be on my toes constantly and I can never relax or blink, but I swell with pride to see him run to the surf or edge of the pool and just jump right in. He’s not afraid of a tall slide or to swing high and I hope he never is. My challenge is to nurture this almost insane confidence. I don’t want him to be afraid. My wish is for him to always move forward no matter what lies in front of him, be it crashing waves, loss, the objections of his peers, or any obstacle, literal or figurative.

Yes, I’m exhausted from the day at the beach but I would rather be tired from keeping up with him as he experiences everything than coaxing him just to get him to do anything.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Is There Anything Worse Than A Sick Child?

I say "nay."

When Monster was a week old, he had a bad case of the jaundice which required us to get a UV blanket (not covered by insurance, those greedy bastards) and blood draws about every other day. Newborns get blood drawn from their precious little feet and it is horrific to watch someone take 20 minutes to draw the tiny amount of blood needed to check for whatever it is they're checking for. The first blood draw was a doozy but it got progressively easier.

Then Monster started getting ear infections. Enough that we had to get tubes surgically implanted. That poor, sweet pathetic baby waking up confused and in pain from anesthesia was just about more than I thought my heart could take.

Even just your run of the mill everyday little colds and viruses that a toddler in daycare will inevitably get are enough to bring me to my knees. My son is so very pathetic when he's sick. He's lethargic and just wants to be held. His eyes swell with tears when I get up to go to the bathroom without him. Asking him if he wants to eat or drink something is as upsetting to him as if I killed his puppy or something. (That's pure speculation b/c I have never, nor will I ever, kill a puppy.) And God forbid I want to watch something other than Caillou. Even the mere suggestion of Special Agent Oso or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cues the waterworks. And his tears spur my tears and then we're just a couple of pathetic crybabies hugging on the couch and watching DVR'd episdoes of a Canadian cartoon.

Luckily this little bout of illness sped by. It was about two days. I chalk that up to the fact that I don't give him Tylenol or Motrin for a fever anymore. The pediatrician told me that ibuprofen will actually halt the healing antibodies from moving to the virus. He also said that our bodies heat up for a reason -- to kill the virus or bacteria causing the illness. So, by reducing the fever, we actually slow the healing process. Fevers, he told me, aren't dangerous until around 105 or 106 and that's because dehydration is setting in. Obviously check with your pediatrician but I did want to pass that on.

What are your kids like when they're sick? Is there something they like to watch or eat? Are they sad little critters or do they even notice they're sick?

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Nice Things My Ex Did (a short list)

I was chatting (gchatting, that is) with a friend not too long ago and I recalled a nice birthday gift I had received from my Ex before he was my Ex. I told my friend that I should remember these things because one day Monster will want to know about them. To know about how our relationship was before it wasn’t one anymore. So in an effort to record and preserve history, here’s a list of some of the nice things Monster’s dad did for me when we were together.

For my birthday one year, he got me the movie Waitress on DVD. He even found a recipe for one of the pies in the movie and made it for me.

When I was in the hospital trying not to have our baby, he made me a playlist of relaxing songs.

He sent flowers to my work on the day I handed in my resignation for what I thought would be a better job and then he sent me an Edible Arrangement when I went back to work there.

He introduced me to Veronica Mars and we laid on the couches one winter weekend to watch all three seasons on DVD.

When my dad was visiting due to some health problems, he picked him up from the hospital and took him to put a deposit down on a temporary apartment.

Without his help I wouldn’t have Monster. So no matter how much he pisses me off, I can never hate him. He’s Monster’s dad for better or for worse.

I speak to my step twins’ mom fairly regularly and am always shocked by how much hostility she still holds toward the Ex. I don’t want that resentment trickling down to Monster. He will make up his own mind about his father and I want it to be based on their relationship, not my feelings. I think one of the best things I can do for Monster is give his dad a clean slate. Navigating your own feelings toward your parents is tough enough without being stained by someone else’s too.