Since becoming just plain single, I’ve been battling a new kind of loneliness. Maybe not exactly new since it’s reminiscent of the first few months I moved to Alabama with a traveling salesman and our Rottweiler puppy. So, basically with a Rottweiler puppy. It was long days of only minimal human contact. I found myself being very chatty with grocery clerks and telemarketers.
I still have all the friends I had pre-break up, it’s just that I never realized how little I actually hung out with them before. I’m an e-mail and text friend. I have several theories as to why I’m like this but that’s not really what this post is about.
This past week, my former neighbor invited Monster and I to go hang out at the pool where she is a member and then over to her house for dinner. I was so excited that I answered her (e-mail, of course) with multiple exclamation points.
The anticipation of this “date” got me through a dreadfully long Friday afternoon of work even though our plans weren’t until Sunday. It’s funny though, because I used to dread plans. For some reason, knowing I had an engagement coming up gave me anxiety. I have no theories as to why I was like that but I hated even scheduling a haircut.
That never happened in this case. Surprising, really, considering I had to pack three bags, stop at the ATM and drive 20 minutes up a winding road to even get to the pool. Plus I get nervous anytime I’m at a place where my son could drown. But my anticipation never wavered even though it never really got sunny or as warm as the Weather Channel predicted (jerks!).
And we had fun the entire time. Monster’s lips and fingertips turned blue because the water was so cold and he peed while we were snuggling on the bench trying our best to stay warm (swim diapers do not protect against pee, in case you didn’t know), yet none of that could spoil the fun we were having.
Monster fell asleep on the car ride to our friend’s house and stayed asleep as we laid him on a sleeping bag in the middle of a bedroom floor (God bless swimming!)
For the first time since having a baby, I was able to relax being somewhere other than my own house. That may have been the glass of wine (likely) or it may just be that I’m finally growing into motherhood.