In my former life I was an international woman of mystery. That was before Monster and my almost marriage and my corporate life.
That's actually not true at all. My dad retired down to Mexico but I did live with him for several months about a million years ago. The point being that in order to go see my dad I need a passport. In order for Monster to go see Grandpa he needs a passport. In order to get Monster a passport, I need the Ex on board because he needs to be there when we apply for it.
We’re in the throws of a family emergency and I need to get out of the U.S. and into Old Mexico in a hurry. I’d even settle for in the next few weeks but the amount of money I have to pay for expedited passports and the hoops I have to jump through to get Monster a passport and then across the border without creating an international incident are huge hurdles over which I’m tripping. So I guess they’re hoop hurdles that I’m both jumping through and tripping over. That really tells you something there.
“But don’t you have brothers who can help you?” you ask. Why yes, yes I do. I have two brothers to this particular father. They don’t actually communicate with each other for whatever reasons so I’m the hub. I’m also the one our dad calls when shit goes wrong (interestingly, I’m the last one my mom calls in a crisis but that’s another
therapy session post) so I’m managing all of this via my cell phone whilst a certain needy toddler clings to me and forces me to watch Cars.
Plus I still have a job and crazy life things only seem to pop up when I’m in the midst of a huge project with a looming deadline.
The bottom line is this: my dad needs me and he wants me to bring Monster with me so he can spend time with him. The Ex isn’t sold and I absolutely need him on board in order to get Monster out of the country. And I don’t know how to navigate this. Granted, it’s quite an unusual situation. Separated parent relationships are always a balancing act and up until now I’ve not had to resort to threats. I will totally use bribes. I’m not above that. But I really just want him to agree to it because it’s the right thing to do.
I need a sales pitch.