New Life

Remember that sunflower I was growing? The one that Monster then destroyed? I never really did anything with it. I just left it out on the back deck to see what happened. Maybe it was denial, or maybe it was hope. Either way, two days ago it caught my eye.

These pictures aren't great, I know, but I'm obsessed with my retro camera app. The point is, there's new life in my sunflower!

There's a lesson in this, I just know it, but I haven't quite put my finger on what it is just yet.

Broken Dreams, Broken Flower

Yesterday a power struggle between me and my toddler resulted in this

And I'm not sure what else to say about it except that I'm completely heart broken.

My Sunflower Is As Tall As a Seated Toddler

Here is the sunflower a mere 25 days old and already it's taller than Monster (when he's seated). Not too shabby. I was hoping I could leave the flower down on the deck instead of up on the railing but it seems Monster thinks it's ready to be picked. He thought that with the cilantro also and so now we're a plant down.

The Sunflower Chronicles Part Quatro

Here she is. The sunflower. Ain't she a beaut? Or maybe it's just my RetroCamera app for my phone that I'm loving.

My Summer of Self Improvement

This has inadvertently become The Summer of Self Improvement for me. It all started when I finally got my hands on a copy of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin from the library. It’s been out for months. While reading about Ms. Rubin’s year-long journey to being happier (as she already considered herself a happy person before the project), I came across some very good tips about interacting with children. She referenced the book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. And while reading reviews of this book, I came across a recommendation for The Pocket Parent by Gail Reichlin and Caroline Winkler. I have not finished any of these books yet (what part of single mom don’t you understand?) but already I’ve changed my mind set about how I’m going to deal with, not only Monster, but everyone in my life.

The sunflower, the cilantro, and the bell peppers (which sprouted yesterday y’all!) are part of my own happiness project. I made the goal of planting some things, which is something I’ve been talking about for years but never actually doing. There was joy in finally dragging my ass to the gardening store, buying the supplies I needed and actually planting the stuff because I took the first step. Then there’s been the overwhelming joy that the stuff is growing. Every day I see it and I get a jolt of happiness. I think Monster gets it too because now he demands to be held up to see the “flar.”

I’ve decided to fight less with Monster. I believe I have mentioned that he hates getting out of the car. He wants to play in the driver’s seat but it’s been too hot and I’m afraid he’ll bake so I’m putting my foot down about this. I’m also carrying my purse, my work laptop and usually a lunch bag so I don’t have the strength to carry a fightin’ toddler too, mostly because I don’t want to drop him on the pavement. I’ve decided to do a small struggle to get him out of the car, then shut the doors, but then hand him my keys and let him play beside the car while I go put my stuff inside and take off my shoes. He doesn’t leave my sight. I sit on my front step and watch him and eventually he makes his own way into the house. It’s been great not getting my ass kicked by my two-year-old right after work every day.

These two small things have made such a huge difference in my life this week. And by making myself a happier person, I’m becoming a better mom.

The Sunflower Chronicles cont. cont.

Hmm, maybe I should come up with another title for this series.

Here is my beautiful sunflower at 9 days old. I am so happy with its progress. And so is Monster. Now he demands to be lifted up to see it and the cilantro. Our peppers still haven't sprouted so I'm thinking they're a wash.

I've been saving an empty egg carton for weeks now and this weekend, whilst Monster is with the Ex, I am going to plant some bell peppers and squash in it. Then I will transplant the seedlings. I bought a Topsy Turvy during that incredibly long week for around $5 at Bed Bath & Beyond and I'm gonna use it! For squash though and not tomatoes because I don't really like tomatoes.

Gardening has proven to be very therapeutic.

The Sunflower Chronicles cont.

Here is the sunflower at 7 days old. Not the best photo but it's taken on my phone, people, so give me a break!

It's amazing how much this flower changes on a day-to-day basis and I'm surprised at how much joy this brings me.

I planted cilantro at the same time as the sunflower and it just sprouted. It was like Christmas morning seeing that.

The Sunflower Chronicles

One thing I did whilst my sweet Monster was away for that very looooong week was plant a sunflower. I also planted cilantro and some yellow bell peppers but for the sake of this post, we'll just focus on the sunflower.

I had a long list of things I wanted to accomplish and me, being deadline driven, did most of them on Sunday afternoon. But really, does it matter when it got done or that it got done at all? I vote the latter.

My point is that the sunflower has already sprouted.

See it? See how it's lifting its little green head out from the soil? Amazing! I was not expecting such quick results but I have to say, this is very satisfying indeed. I lift Monster up to look at it every day. He is not nearly as into it as I am but, whatevs, he's only 2.

So I will be posting pictures of the sunflower's growth often. Like, every day.

Enjoy!