Me + Potty Training = FAIL

Be prepared people. Probably every post from here on out will involve potty training and how I’m not qualified to teach a 2-year-old how to use a toilet.

This morning Monster was fussing around a bit whilst I was in the shower. I thought he was just upset that I was not attending to his every need. He kept crying, “Mama! Poop!”

It took me a minute to figure out that’s what he was saying anyway, mostly because I was kind of ignoring him. His crying seemed half-hearted so I knew nothing was seriously wrong. Don’t judge me. I got downstairs and, sure enough, he had, in fact, pooped. He also removed his diaper that was filled with the poop, and scooted it away from him. Then he just continued lying on the floor, watching Special Agent Oso.

It was a little messy but not as bad as I anticipated. I was so proud of him for knowing he was poopy and not wanting to stay that way. Usually when we ask him if he pooped, he’ll deny even though, clearly, he had. I told him I was proud of him and he beamed.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m reading about potty training but most of what I’m reading is how to coax your child to do it. My kid is leaps and bounds ahead of me. I’m unprepared. I’m lost. I'm taking suggestions.

Potty Training Parent Fail

Monster is entering an important, albeit frightening, time (for me at least). It’s potty training time! And I’ll admit, I have no f*$@ing clue what I’m doing. I have not prepared for this in the least. In fact, I was quite surprised when, at Monster’s two-year checkup, the nurse practitioner told me that at the next checkup he’d be checking on our progress in this particular area.

I’ve been keeping an eye out for the signs that it was time to start trying. It seems Monster never has a dry diaper so obviously he’s not interested in holding it. He is capable of taking his diaper off but not putting it back on or even wanting it back on. According to the babysitter, he likes to take off his clothes but mostly shirts, not pants. Basically, all signs point to ‘he’s not ready.’

Then this weekend happened. Monster looked at me and announced, ‘Pee pee,’ and walked into the bathroom. I asked him if he wanted his diaper off and he said yes. I asked him if he wanted to pee pee in the toilet and he said yes. So I put him up there and he got really freaked out even though I was holding him. Back in his diaper he went. I could kick myself! If I had been at least a little prepared I could’ve introduced him to the wonders of not peeing in his pants.

*sigh*

On tonight’s to do list: get a training potty and a clue.